it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I forgot how hot balto sounded
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize