I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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