Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
