i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
