Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
