Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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