Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
