i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
