Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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