I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
