Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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