So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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