420 ftw
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
