I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
