I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
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