Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You were trust falling into bushes
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
