im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize