i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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