you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
