That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
