My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Enjoy the penises
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
