It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just googled if crying burns calories
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
