We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
