I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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