You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
