God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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