Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I am available for nakedness
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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