SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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