It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
