I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize