i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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