could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I believe in your delicious
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
