just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Randomize
