: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I love black thongs
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize