I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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