sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
How's work?
Spinning.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
