you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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