Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
