Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
