i just google imaged poop.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
