Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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