But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
