my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i out mim tonsoeep
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