Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize