remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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