areolas are like halos for boobs.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
