hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
