just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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