Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
