I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Quick, to the slutcave!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
