barbara walters just said penis...
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
