I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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