Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize