with your own penis?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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