i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Someone came in the potted fern
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
