Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
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