I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
