small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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