some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
