I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
