You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I think I am morally bankrupt
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Randomize
